Posts Tagged ‘WordCount Blogathon’

There are a lot of things I can do, and I do a lot of those. And there’s something I can’t do, which is everything. That is to say, I can’t do everything. Also I can’t eat everything. My cravings and my goals are similar in that way.

As anyone who’s read my blog for a while knows, my interests are broad. Exhibit A, the category cloud to the right. And somewhere in here are a few posts detailing my many bold goals and determined plans for myself. Near the top is finally going to college – not for the sake of going though the Monkey supportively says that’s enough of a reason in his book for me to go – but to facilitiate a career change from fundraising to sustainable agriculture advocacy. It’s a serious craving, and a very big helping on my already full/filling plate.

And if you’ve read my blog in the last month I might have mentioned that I am pregnant. I don’t have cravings per say, for a single food or for an odd combination of foods,  though for a week or so I ate many pickles. What I get are fixations. I see a picture or hear someone mention a food and I cannot stop thinking about how much I want to eat it. I’ve made side trips to markets and bakeries to satisfy these fixations. Nothing outrageous. Just, a cupcake, or butter chicken, or grilled cheese. At the moment my need for a cheeseburger is unrequited but I am plotting. The thing is, because of other physiological changes, I can’t eat as much as I want to –  I get full fast and I feel terrible when my tummy is full.

… I’m going to scream right now thinking about how much I want one juicy, salty, cheesey cheeseburger on a smooshed, tomato-soggy bun with an ooze of pinkmayoketchup dripping toward my greedy hands. God help me. Be right back .

No, I didn’t go get a cheeseburger. I made a grilled cheese sandwich. Because that’s what you do when you can’t do everything: you do what you can.

I really did make a grilled cheese halfway through this post. Sometimes it comes together in the doing.

In the vast list that is everything, I decided, the first summer session at my community college is part of the everything I can’t do. My Drowsy Serenity is voracious, gobbling up so much of my energy and motivation that I cannot bear the thought of three-hour classes and two or three days a week of rushing on the metro from work to class and back home. But, like this delcious grilled cheese sandwich, I found the perfect substitute, and it’s probably more suited to my smaller appetite anyway: a non-credit online creative non-fiction course through the University of Wisconsin-Madison led by a writing professor and completed in my own time.  I can keep up a few hours of study sans classes, transit and finals, and make some progress on the goal of being a very good writer. I will share drafts and assignments here, and any other thoughts about writing that come my way as I work through the course.

It’s no cheeseburger, but this home-made grilled cheese sandwich hits the spot right now.


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DAMMIT! I missed day one!

I signed up for the WordCount Blogathon again this year.

Then promptly missed day one. Officially I lose. That will make the rest of the month sooo much more manageable.

Why did I sign up, knowing how many things I have going on? Because last year I loved the camaraderie and the satisfaction of writing every single day. Of sharing my voice and my perspective and driving myself to think, express and communicate.  I love writing.

And what obstacles will I face in blogging daily for the month of May?

First and foremost, I can’t keep my eyes open half the time these days. I’m 7 weeks pregnant. I’ve intentionally chosen not to call this “tired” – though sometimes I call it The Tired, because it deserves a title. I’ve been opting to call it, to myself, My Drowsy Serenity. More on My Drowsy Serenity later.

I’m also transitioning to new tasks at work – from managing our various event-based fundraising (marathons, biking tours, fundraising dinners, etc, put on by donors across the country to support cancer research) to our corporate relationships (companies who support cancer research through their corporate giving or marketing budgets). And at the moment, I’m doing both jobs, and will soon be training our new events person, once he or she is hired.

I’m also planning on taking a couple of classes during the summer term at the community college where I’ve been working on the long-put-off goal of getting my degree. I took calculus and physical geography last semester. I think, all things considered, the summer session might be devoted to something like art appreciation.

As a result of My Drowsy Serenity, I have found new ways to show compassion for myself. Naps, morning meditation, and a slower walk to work are a few. Add: not beating myself up for failing the blogathon goal on the first day. As they say in New Orleans, it is what it is. And here I am, posting on day two because It’s What I Can Do.

There are more things in my life with capital letters in my life right now.

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